I'm so sorry. :( It must be so much more difficult when the person who hurt you is a member of your own family. It is indeed wrong for people to tell you to forget--you will never forget. But I promise you, things will get better for you. Growing up is insanely hard, especially when you've been abused, but these things you've gone through will shape you into a stronger woman if you let them. You will always feel loss for the childhood experiences you absolutely *should* have had when you were young, but please don't believe that childhood, or those experiences you crave, are lost to you. Some of the best adults--and the best writers--are the ones who try to regain that sense of wonder and fun and allow their adult selves to enjoy childlike things. Age is so relative. You will never truly feel older even as you grow up and have a family of your own (if you should choose to). We're all the same age, really, it's all about choices we make. You have new choices coming every day. Try to make good ones, but don't be afraid to mess up either. Be thoughtful. Write. And every day will take you further from the pain of the things you've experienced and closer to the day where the rest of your future will be entirely up to you. When you can choose whether to ever see your abuser again. I promise you the choices are all yours. Own them and do your best.
And whenever you feel the urge, please send me a note and we can turn somersaults together. :) Your childhood is coming, my dear!
Much love to you,