Thursday, March 10, 2011

Which Came First? The Kernel or the Cornstalk?

I was determined to write a "happy" post today.  I don't want this to be a dismal place to visit.  I mean, I'm wearing my party hat over there  (<-----) and I wanna bring the party!

But I suffer from this icky-blicky thing called "depression", maybe you've heard of it?  It's a little dark cloud that worms its way into your stomach, then seeps into your limbs and turns to lead--biologically speaking.  This isn't new.  I've had it for years.  It waxes and wanes, lurks like a bogeyman then tackles me after munching a large cheese pizza to get sufficiently waxed.   It hurts.

I take meds for it (up your nose with a rubber hose, Cruise).  I try to eat well and do all the things I should do to keep it under control.  But it's a wrestling match sometimes.

But perhaps this is what made me a writer?  Maybe all that time I spent depressed, alone, and turning to books to escape, was the kernel that grew into a cornstalk pen? (yes, a cornstalk pen).  I'm always amazed when speaking candidly to other writers how many of us suffer from this debilitating condition.  Which came first--the depression or the desire to write?  Are they linked?

If so, I'd rather battle depression than give up my cornstalk pen. You?

*cues crickets*


  1. (((((Alina)))))

    Perhaps your writing is something positive that came out of something negative? I don't have depression, but a couple of my friends do, and I admire them for being able to battle it when they need to. <3

  2. Thanks, Kathy. I'm glad depression isn't a writing prerequisite! :P

  3. Do not lose that cornstalk pen, woman! I agree - I'm always amazed at how many writers (who are also teachers, mothers, business people, etc.,) are fighting depression. Do writing and depression go together? Does the vice grip it can hold us in make the world more poignant, visible, or somehow noticeable? No idea. For me, the two have always been intertwined.
    p.s. Luuuuuuuuuurve the maturity in which you engage Mr. crazy-ass Cruise in dialogue on the subject!

  4. Dana, let me say again: no wonder you are one of my favoritest people in the known universe--and the unknown for that matter. <3

    *vice grip on cornstalk pen* You do the same!

  5. love you! And your writing. And your pen. But not my terrible grammar in this comment. You inspire. You have planted the seeds of a beanstalk pen for me. :D xx

  6. Aw, love you too, Smar! So glad you're writing that lovely stuff you write. :D Just be sure to aim that beanstalk pen *away* from your nose, m'kay? xxo


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